Latest Definition in an Oxford dictionary Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words: **Divorce*: Future tense of marriage. **Cigarette*: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other. **Lecture*: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" **Conference*: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. **Compromise*: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. **Conference Room*: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. **Classic*: A book which people praise, but do not read. **Yawn*: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. **Committee*: Individuals who can do nothing individuall! y and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. **Experience*: The name men give to their mistakes. **Philosopher*: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. **Opportunist*: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. **Optimist*: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." **Miser*: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. **Father*: A banker provided by nature. **Criminal*: A guy no different from the rest...except that he got caught. **Boss*: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. **Politician*: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. **Doctor*: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.